Existential Stoic Podcast, dobetterwithdan, self help, Motivation, Quick Fix, how to, dichotomy of control
with Danny & Randy

Life can oftentimes seem overwhelming, chaotic, and utterly random. Danny and Randy discuss how to embrace randomness in life.

The Existential Stoic Quick Fix 160 – How to Embrace Randomness – Available wherever you get your podcasts!

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Want to discover more? Please check out my related articles: Discovering Small Delights, Our Relationship to Suffering, Comparisons & Mistakes We Make, Defining a Life Project, Meditation & Balance, The Only Proof of Strength, What is Virtue?, A Formula for Happiness, and The Authentic Life.

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Existential Stoic Podcast, dobetterwithdan, self help, Motivation, Quick Fix, how to, balance, work
with Danny & Randy

Do you feel like you always work, like there isn’t enough time to do everything you need to do? Discover tips for how to work less in the latest Quick Fix from The Existential Stoic Podcast.

The Existential Stoic Quick Fix 140 – How to Work Less – Available wherever you get your podcasts!

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Want to discover more? Please check out my related articles: Productivity, Boundaries, Comparisons & Mistakes We Make, Defining a Life Project, Meditation & Balance, The Only Proof of Strength, What is Virtue?, A Formula for Happiness, and Accepting Death.

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Existential Stoic Podcast, dobetterwithdan, self help, Motivation, Quick Fix, how to, habits, character, growth
with Danny & Randy

The Existential Stoic – episode 138

Developing good habits can have a huge impact on our quality of life and happiness. Discover tips for how to build habits and cultivate positive character traits in the latest Quick Fix from The Existential Stoic Podcast.

The Existential Stoic – How to Build Habits – Quick Fix 138 – Available wherever you get your podcasts!

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Want to discover more? Please check out my related articles: What is Friendship?, Boundaries, The Habit of Thinking, Defining a Life Project, Meditation & Balance, The Only Proof of Strength, What is Virtue?, A Formula for Happiness, and What we can learn living underground.

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The Existential Stoic, self help, mental health, meaning, personal narrative, self control, happiness, growth
with Danny & Randy

The stories we tell ourselves determine how we interpret the world.

In the episode 137 of The Existential Stoic Podcast, Danny and Randy discuss the importance of personal narratives and explore how to create a new, healthy narrative.

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Want to discover more? Please check out my related articles: Reducing Friction, Death & Meaning, To Feel Differently, Boundaries, Curiosity & the Wisdom of Socrates, Within Our Control, Meditation & Balance, The Only Proof of Strength, A Formula for Happiness, and Comparisons & Mistakes We Make.

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Existential, modern Stoicism, self help, problems, challenges, learning, growth
with Danny & Randy

Episode 133 – The Existential Stoic

The more we turn away from our problems, the worse they tend to get.

Danny and Randy discuss the importance of facing your problems and doing what’s difficult in the latest episode of The Existential Stoic Podcast.

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Want to discover more? Please check out my related articles: Reducing Friction, Death & Meaning, To Feel Differently, Boundaries, Curiosity & the Wisdom of Socrates, Within Our Control, Meditation & Balance, The Only Proof of Strength, A Formula for Happiness, and Comparisons & Mistakes We Make.

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existentialism, stoicism, the existential stoic, self help, mental health, growth
with Danny & Randy

New from The Existential Stoic

Should we avoid suffering or seek it out? Is all suffering equal? How should we respond to suffering, stress, and other difficulties in life?

We all experience suffering, stress, and other challenges in life. How bad our experience is, however, depends on us, on how we respond to the bad and negative in life. Danny and Randy explore whether we should reevaluate suffering and stress on Episode 131 of The Existential Stoic.

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Want to discover more? Please check out my related articles: Reducing Friction, Death & Meaning, To Feel Differently, Boundaries, Curiosity & the Wisdom of Socrates, Within Our Control, Meditation & Balance, The Only Proof of Strength, A Formula for Happiness, and Comparisons & Mistakes We Make.

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Existential Stoic Podcast, dobetterwithdan, self help, Motivation, Quick Fix, how to, wealth, financial literacy, manage money
with Danny & Randy

New from The Existential Stoic…

We all want to be rich…And yet, many of us live check-to-check and manage our money poorly.

Discover tips for how to be rich on the latest Quick Fix from The Existential Stoic Podcast.

The Existential Stoic Quick Fix 130 – How to be Rich – Available wherever you get your podcasts!

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Want to discover more? Please check out my related articles: Boundaries, Reducing Friction, Death & Meaning, Productivity, Meditation & Balance, The Only Proof of Strength, Are You Distracted?, A Formula for Happiness, and What we can learn living underground.

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The Existential Stoic, self help, boundaries, limits, happiness, growth, self control
with Danny & Randy

New from The Existential Stoic…

The self-help world is full of praise for boundaries. They often make it seem like setting boundaries is an easy thing.

Find out why you should set boundaries, why they suck, and what challenges to expect when you start defining limits in your life.

Danny and Randy discuss why boundaries suck in episode 129 of The Existential Stoic.

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Want to discover more? Please check out my related articles: Reducing Friction, Death & Meaning, To Feel Differently, Boundaries, Curiosity & the Wisdom of Socrates, Within Our Control, Meditation & Balance, The Only Proof of Strength, A Formula for Happiness, and Comparisons & Mistakes We Make.

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dobetterwithdan, boundary, limits, self control, authenticity, intentionality

When we don’t have limits or clear boundaries, we can easily find ourselves overwhelmed and stressed. A friend, for example, once confessed she felt overwhelmed and taken advantage of at work. During regular work hours, her days were filled with back-to-back meetings, meetings she was required or encouraged to attend.

The consequence was that she had little or no time to actually do her job during regular work hours, and instead found herself doing work at night and on weekends just to complete basic tasks. Without a clear separation between work and life, work started to consume all her time. It was unhealthy, unfair, and she needed to make a change.

A Boundary is something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent.

self help, mental health, work life balance, strength, self control, growth

In the parlance of self-help, my friend needed to establish boundaries. She needed to clearly define when she would work and what was appropriate. Without clearly defined boundaries, she had no life, she was stressed and overwhelmed, and, unsurprisingly, her health suffered.

My friend resolved to set boundaries. She quickly found, however, that setting such boundaries is not always as easy as self-help books and gurus like to make it out to be. As soon as she started defining when she’d work and what was appropriate for her, she discovered new obstacles and pressures. Colleagues, bosses, and others found her need for limits confusing, because they had been unaware of the extent of her problems. In the end, it took months, but she was able to work out a better work/life balance and take back control of her life.

The self-help world is full of praise for boundaries. To be sure, boundaries can be a wonderful thing and a powerful means by which we can take control of our lives. Self-help gurus often tout the benefits of setting boundaries in life to deal with a broad range of problems. I find that for all their talk, however, there is a tendency to gloss over the challenges that an individual will undoubtedly face whenever attempting to set boundaries in their life.

The talk of setting boundaries that you might find in self-help books can be misleading in the sense that it can make it seem as if the process is simple. You identify where in your life such limits are needed, you set them, and your life is better. This, unfortunately, is a gross oversimplification of the process, one that fails to take into account the challenges, difficulties, and pressures one will no doubt experience as soon as boundaries are set.

Boundaries are a wonderful tool to be used in our pursuit of a good life, of the life we want. I often think of setting boundaries as simply making an effort to live intentionally, to exercise self-control, and to manage our lives in a way that is right for us. Boundaries are, in short, an important tool in an authentic life.

Consider, for a moment, why you might be motivated to set boundaries. In my own life, for instance, I came to realize that I needed boundaries to manage toxic relationships. In these cases, what I was struggling with was, on the one hand, a toxic relationship that was negatively impacting my life, and, on the other, certain obligations and ideas I had about what such relationships entailed. To effectively set boundaries meant facing the full weight of the obligations and ideas I had head-on, it meant dealing with my ideas and conceptions of such relationships and redefining them in ways that were healthy.

Simply setting boundaries, setting limits, isn’t enough. Any boundaries we set will always be challenged, because boundaries entail changes in our lives and interactions with others. To effectively set boundaries, we need to carefully consider why we need such boundaries and which of our ideas, beliefs, and obligations are causing us difficulties and stress—are causing a need for new boundaries.

We should consider boundaries. Such limits in our lives are an important way to exercise self-control and live intentionally. We should also reflect to determine how our thinking contributes to our own stress and lack of boundaries. We need to adjust our thinking for our boundaries to work.

In the end, all change and growth take work and will involve overcoming obstacles and challenges. Setting boundaries, like any changes in our lives, will take time, effort, and perseverance. Once you start taking control of your life and clearly establishing limits, you will notice the benefits and be empowered to design a life that is right for you.

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Want to discover more? Please check out my related articles: Reducing Friction, Death & Meaning, To Feel Differently, The Importance of Exploration & Experimentation, No Lasting Name, Meditation & Balance, The Only Proof of Strength, A Formula for Happiness, and The Experience of Awe.

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self help, Existential Stoic, gratitude, happiness, growth, self control, virtue, character
with Danny & Randy

New from The Existential Stoic…

Have you ever felt like things just aren’t moving fast enough? Do things seem like they take too long, like there’s not enough time in the day?

Danny and Randy discuss the importance of patience, contentment, and acknowledging what you have in Episode 127 of The Existential Stoic.

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Listen to all ESP content here or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Want to discover more? Please check out my related articles: Reducing Friction, Death & Meaning, To Feel Differently, Curiosity & the Wisdom of Socrates, Within Our Control, Meditation & Balance, The Only Proof of Strength, A Formula for Happiness, and Comparisons & Mistakes We Make.

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