modern stoicism, self help, mortality, freedom, strength, intentional, authenticity
with Danny & Randy

Life is short. When we make choices, we are choosing how to use our time. If we don’t choose, how we spend our time is decided for us.

In this episode, Danny and Randy discuss the importance of time, the shortness of life, and why it is crucial to say No.

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Want to discover more? Please check out my related articles: Reducing Friction, How to Fail Forward, To Feel Differently, Boundaries, Creating a New Narrative, Within Our Control, Meditation & Balance, The Only Proof of Strength, A Formula for Happiness, and Comparisons & Mistakes We Make.

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Existential Stoic Podcast, dobetterwithdan, self help, Motivation, Quick Fix, strength, self control, power, willpower
with Danny & Randy

New from The Existential Stoic…

Have you ever felt weak or powerless?

We all want to feel powerful, to be in control. Discover tips for how to be powerful on the latest Quick Fix from The Existential Stoic Podcast.

The Existential Stoic – Quick Fix 122 – How to be Powerful – Available wherever you get your podcasts!

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Listen to all ESP content here or wherever you get your podcasts.

Thanks for listening & watching!

Please subscribe, like, and share!

Want to discover more? Please check out my related articles: Reducing Friction, Death & Meaning, To Feel Differently, Productivity, Within Our Control, Meditation & Balance, The Only Proof of Strength, A Formula for Happiness, and Comparisons & Mistakes We Make.

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dobetterwithdan, friction, nudge, motivation, self help, happiness, growth, development

Have you ever tried to cultivate a certain habit only to give up after a few days or few attempts? For instance, have you ever purchased a gym membership with the intent of going on a regular basis only to find that you lose momentum after a week or just a few days?

When was the last time you failed to do something that you wanted to do because you found it too difficult or too time consuming? We all have experiences like these, and it is friction that prevents us from living the life we want and being who we want to be.  

The basic concept of friction is simple enough. Friction refers to “surface resistance to relative motion” (dictionary.com). Friction therefore makes it harder for an object to move across a surface—to move in the world. When it is applied in the domain of human behavior, friction refers to the resistance we meet that makes the completion of some activity difficult. If we reduce friction that otherwise makes doing something more difficult, we make the activity easier to accomplish and increase the likelihood that we will habituate certain (positive) behaviors.

You can think of friction as, for instance, the relative steps, obstacles, difficulties, and stressors that exist making it more difficult to do what you want to do. When we reduce friction, we make doing something easier; whereas when we increase friction, we make doing something harder.

Imagine, for instance, that you want to start journaling every night before bed. In such a case, you can reduce friction by leaving your journal and a good pen on your bedside table. You reduce friction by reducing the number of relative steps (going to get your journal, finding your pen…etc.) required to complete the activity.

We just started the new year, and many people are thinking about personal development and growth. Exercise is a common New Year’s resolution, but it is one that many people struggle to stick with. Before you purchase a gym membership, ask yourself: “How can I make regular exercise easier?” Studies have shown, for example, that when we must travel more than 4 miles to go to the gym, our average attendance drops by 80%. Driving can be stressful, it takes time, and for many it is enough of an obstacle that it will inhibit them from adopting the practices they want in their life. If the gym is far from your home, it might be better to use the money you would spend on a membership on the purchase of equipment for a home gym. Doing so reduces friction by reducing the steps you have to complete to exercise.

friction, motivation, self help, dobetterwithdan, willpower, habits

Think in Terms of Friction

To think in terms of friction is to think in terms of relative ease—it means thinking about how to make certain activities and behaviors easier and therefore increase the likelihood that we will do them. Instead of saying to yourself—“I can’t do this.”—Ask yourself—“How can I make this easier?” We tend to do what is easiest, whatever has the least resistance and obstacles in the way.

You can also make an activity easier by combining it with activities that you enjoy. For example, if you find it difficult to exercise, you might commit to watching your favorite show only when you exercise or you might listen to your favorite music or podcast only when you go for a run. You combine something you enjoy (watching a certain show, listening to a good podcast…) with an activity you find difficult to reduce friction and make it easier. By thinking creatively about our activities and what might motivate us, we make cultivating good behaviors easier. We reduce mental friction by making something we don’t enjoy more enjoyable by combining it with an activity we enjoy. Doing so, we are more likely to find the motivation and will to accomplish and stick to the behaviors we want to adopt.

Practice is also a fundamental tool for reducing mental friction. Oftentimes, it is our imagination that blocks us from doing what we want to do. Through practice, we can prove to ourselves that certain actions are possible and develop a better understanding of what’s involved. When you practice something, you make it easier to do it without letting your imagination run wild.  

I walk every morning. Doing so is not always easy, nor is the weather always agreeable. To reduce friction and make the walk easier, I started cultivating the habit when it was warm out and I was more likely to do it. I do the same walk and have a clear sense of how long it will take. I walk every day and know that I can do it. Practicing and starting when I was most likely to stick to it, I cultivated a habit of walking every day and now don’t think about it—I just walk.

We all want to live our best life and cultivate healthy habits. Start thinking in terms of friction—ask yourself how you can make certain behaviors easier so that you are more likely to do them. When we face a lot of friction, it is hard to get moving and completing our activity requires a lot of effort. When we face limited or no friction, it is easy to do what we need to and the path before us is clear.

When we face limited or no friction, it is easy to do what we need to and the path before us is clear.

Thanks for reading.

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Want to discover more? Please check out my related articles: Death & Meaning, To Feel Differently, Curiosity & the Wisdom of Socrates, Productivity, Within Our Control, Meditation & Balance, The Only Proof of Strength, What is Virtue, A Formula for Happiness, The Habit of Thinking, and Comparisons & Mistakes We Make.

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